


Just One

by imabithungry



Category: Buzz (Korea Band), Super Junior, 아는 형님 | Knowing Bros | Ask Us Anything
Genre: Can't Believe Forgot to Add Angst, Cooking, Cuddling, Cute, Fluff, M/M, Shy Heechul, Sleepovers, Sweet, Sweet Kyunghoon, Valentine's Day Fluff, not beta-ed, sweet date, we die like namja
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-05-19
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:08:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22436932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imabithungry/pseuds/imabithungry
Summary: Heechul couldn't understand. He was fine all this time but somehow, this night they spent together began to rot him from the inside, and he knew he wasn't going to miss another opportunity. He'll take the risk, even if it just the sole chance he had.
Relationships: Kim Heechul/Min Kyunghoon
Comments: 12
Kudos: 39





	1. The Dilemma

Heechul paced around his living room. _‘What to do, what to do? Gosh, this is killing me!’_. He grabbed his phone and opened his KakaoTalk to re-read his current conversation he had with one of his close friends, Min Kyunghoon. Their relationship progressed steadily, from a mere co-worker to something else. From a hyung-dongsaeng relationship, it became much more than just a close friend. At least, that was what he felt. Heechul told everything to Kyunghoon, and on the contrary, Kyunghoon let his guard down around Heechul and trust him completely. They had their own dynamic wherein both of them were the sole performer. The fact that they had been exchanging messages over the past months and frequent sleep over just made him more conscious to his feeling.

Not even 15 minutes ago, he asked Kyunghoon to come to his apartment to try the new game they waited for so long. He didn’t know what was in his brain when he sent, _‘Yah, we don’t have any schedule tomorrow, just pack more of your things and stay the night at my place. That way we can play it longer. Moreover, it’s always nice to have your company anyway.’_ The worst thing is, Kyunghoon agreed right away.

 _‘Aigooo Kim Heechul! Why did you say that? What if he realized you had feelings for him, huh? Do you think you're ready if he asked about that?’_ Heechul facepalmed his now red face. The savage, witty persona he had on the screen was only to concealing his shy personality.

While Heechul still considering what to explain to Kyunghoon later, the latter message him again to tell him that he was about less than 10 minutes away. Panicked rushed over his body as he immediately went to the bathroom, because the last time he took bath was yesterday. “Bok-ah, tell him to wait if I’m not finished yet, okay?” he shouted from the bathroom. _‘And tell him that I want to look as clean and as pretty as I can for him while you at it, if you don’t mind,’_ he added jokingly.

Few more minute passed, and the doorbell rang while Bok already barking at the door. ”Shit, he’s here,” he mumbled. “I’m coming! Gimme a second okay? I’m not ready yet!” he shouted across the room. _‘My heart is not ready yet, Kyunghoon-ah.’_ Heechul ran to the front door and opened it, expecting a dimpled smile he loved from the dongsaeng, only to found Kyunghoon checking him out with wide eyes. “Hyung! Are you crazy?” he asked in hushed tone, walk in to the flat while gently pushed Heechul inside.

“What?” Heechul clearly couldn’t follow.

“Your, your appearance! What if someone sees you in this state and… and they take your photo, or worse, attack you?” he scolded Heechul. The latter then realized he was still clad only in a towel, dutifully covering his lower body. “Ack! I’m sorry! I’ll go change, you go make yourself comfortable then!” He ran to find some clothes to wear. Kyunghoon just shake his head and go to the dinner table.

Heechul sighed. How could he make himself a fool in front of his crush? _‘I can’t even go out without being embarrassed now,’_ he could still remember the slight panic in Kyunghoon’s eyes when he opened the door for him. Those eyes, that often radiating gentleness for him, were one of his most favorite features of him. He noticed it, sometimes while filming Knowing Brothers, Kyunghoon would look at him with such gentle eyes. But sometimes, that gentle eyes would be replaced by a more intense look that Heechul couldn’t comprehend until now. He thought it may because he stole the jokes Kyunghoon had prepared to throw to the guests, but was it really is?

“Hyung, you okay in there?” A soft knock on the door and Kyunghoon’s gentle voice startled him from his reverie. Heechul opened the door and put a smile on, “Yeah, of course. What’s wrong? Can’t stay put when your hyung isn’t with you?” he asked with a mischievous glint in his eyes.

“Uh, it’s not that, hyung,” Kyunghoon almost whined. “You’ve been in there for almost 20 minutes, I thought something happened to you…” The tip of his ear tinted pink. _‘Ugh, he’s so cute I want to kiss him so bad,’_ Heechul deadpanned in his mind. “Sorry, Hoonie. Hyung was daydreaming back there. You want to play the game right away?”

“Later, hyung. I brought food. I know you haven’t had anything for dinner,” Kyunghoon grabbed Heechul’s hand and leading him to the table. Heechul immediately intertwined their fingers. _‘Aah, really. This feels nice. I want to hold his hands like this forever,’_ he stared dumbfoundedly at their hands. Little did he know, Kyunghoon pay close attention to his face.

“Heechulie, are you sure you okay? You seem… Really off today. You’re not sick, are you?” Kyunghoon put his other hand on Heechul’s forehead, trying to measure his temperature. “I can go back now to let you rest if you aren't really feeling well, you know. I don’t want to burden you,” he softly added.

“Huh? Don’t!” he nearly shouted. _‘Stupid! Not that!’_ he corrected himself. “I mean, I’m not sick, no need to worry about that. It just, I just happy you actually came when I asked you to. I always enjoy it whenever you’re with me,” Heechul explained, taking Kyunghoon’s hand that were on his forehead in his. He feels so embarrassed to the point he can feel his cheeks burn.

Kyunghoon stared at him for a while. Heechul got anxious as the time goes by. _‘I sounded like a creep just now, right? He must think I’m not like my usual self now. Gosh Kim Heechul, what’s wrong with you? You see him almost every day!’_ He gravely cries inside.

Unexpectedly, Kyunghoon smile. His dimple showing itself for Heechul. “I really enjoy your companion too, hyung. And of course, I’ll come whenever you want me to. I’ll come to you even if you just want someone beside you without even doing anything,” Kyunghoon said, tucking some of Heechul’s hair behind his ear.

“Oh? Uh, I, yes, thank you,” Heechul looked down, didn’t know what to say, didn’t how to respond to those sweet words that just been threw right in front of his face. Looking at his antics, Kyunghoon just giggled. The latter put Heechul on one of the chairs and prepare the utensils for him. “Hyung, you eat first, okay? I’ll join you later.” He went to the bathroom.

Thinking that Kyunghoon probably need some time, Heechul started eating right away. Unknown to him, Kyunghoon already back and stood behind him. He only realized when he felt the other hand and hot air blow to his head.

“Hoonie, what-“

“Your hair is still wet. I don’t want you to get sick later. Just let me dry it for you, hm? Please continue with your dinner,” he gently ran his fingers on Heechul’s hair.

“Uh, okay. Thanks. You’ve memorized every item in this place by now, huh?” he replied jokingly. The good thing is Kyunghoon can’t see his red face now, otherwise he must be laughed at. They went like that for a while. Heechul purposely eat slower, simply because he wanted to eat together with him. When Kyunghoon finished, he put the hairdryer back to its place and join Heechul. They talked about their day and their latest high score.

“Aah, Kyunghoon-ah, thank you for the food. You really saved me,” Heechul smiled, eyeing Kyunghoon as the latter washed the utensils. “But at least you can allow me to help you with the dishes,” he pouted. Kyunghoon just laughed at that, “No, hyung, I know you had rough days lately. Enjoy yourself, and I’ll be doing the rest.”

“Aigoo, did I help an Emperor in my past life? I don’t know what I did to you for pampering me like this,” Heechul joked. “I’m not worth enough for this,” he added, whispering to himself.

“Hm? What are you saying? You know I’ll do anything as best as I can for you,” Kyunghoon argue back, staring straight into his eyes. “And you’re wrong, hyung. You are worth it. Don’t let anyone, especially yourself, tell you otherwise.”

Heechul can feel the sincerity in Kyunghoon’s eyes and voice. It made him feel like crying on the spot, “Hahaha, okay then, Hoonie. Come to the gaming room as soon as you finish, okay? Hyung is gonna set the game for you.” He walked away from the heated stare. He can hear Kyunghoon’s, “Okay, hyung,” as he went away.

 _‘This is no good,’_ he thought, pressing the power button of his computer. _‘It only been 2 hours and, and what happened? Why does he act really sweet tonight? How can I survive this until morning, then?’_ Heechul put his face flat on his palms, contemplating his sanity. He was deep in thought to even notice his surround. His wrists were grabbed by a hand, and he looked down to see Kyunghoon kneeling before him, worry evident in his face.

“What’s wrong? Did your head hurt? Do you need any medicine?”

“Oh, Kyunghoonie,” Heechul gasped, noticing the short distance between their faces. His eyes trailed to the other’s lips. _‘I want to taste it…’_

“Hyung?”

The concerned tone in Kyunghoon’s voice brought him back to his senses. “Well, I’m okay, but…” he trailed.

“But..?” Kyunghoon prompted Heechul, gently.

“I just feel cold, a little,” he lied. No way he was going to tell Kyunghoon that he imagined kissing him just now. Surprised, Kyunghoon eyes widened and he brought Heechul to his feet, standing face to face. “Cold? Do you need me to bring you a blanket?” Kyunghoon really worried now, he checked the other’s temperature by his hand, again.

 _‘Good job, me. You lied and made him worried like that,’_ Heechul criticized himself. “I think lying for a while would do, Hoonie. How about you try the game first and I’ll be on the sofa with a blanket on while watching some movie?” Heechul just want to get away from Kyunghoon for a while, his heart still beating fast in his ribcage.

Kyunghoon made a face, like he’s weighing the offer. His grip on Heechul’s hands tightened, and with a meek voice he asked, “Can’t I just stay with you, hyung? I- I want to be with you,” and that small pout on his lips didn’t help either, making him looked more like a dejected animal.

 _‘Aigoo, what did you do to me?’_ Heechul must shut his eyes; he’s not strong enough to see Kyunghoon looked miserable and cute at the same time like that. “Kyunghoon-ah, don’t look like that. Come on, we can watch movie together. You can choose the movie while I grab my blanket, okay?” At last, he gave in to Kyunghoon.

Kyunghoon smiled brightly and nodded. They proceed as they agreed on, and Heechul made a hot drink for them before he went to the sofa. Kyunghoon join him not long after. They watch the movie in silence at the first few minutes, with a reasonable distance between them. In fact, Heechul didn’t pay any attention to the movie. He planned how they would spend the rest of the night, on how he could keep his sense intact.

“Hyung,” Kyunghoon voice startled him. Heechul looked back at him. “Do you still feel cold?” For a moment there, Heechul almost forgot why he would feel cold in the first place. “Uh, well…” Heechul still thought what to reply to Kyunghoon.

“Come here,” without waiting any longer, Kyunghoon pull Heechul’s shoulder to make him sit right beside him, without any space available. His arms around him, as he put Heechul’s head to rest on his shoulder. “This way, you won’t feel cold,” he smiled innocently. Flabbergasted, Heechul couldn’t said anything. He was really surprised Kyunghoon would do something like that. _‘Uwah, wah, what? Did he, why does he, how can this,’_ his brain shut down.

They spend more time with complete silent, silently watching the movie. Heechul could feel his eyelids becoming heavier as the time goes by. The warmth Kyunghoon transmitted made his body relaxed so much, and the blanket made him even cozier. The fact that he was in Kyunghoon’s arms only made him feel safe. “This feels nice,” he whispered so low, to the point he was certain the other couldn’t hear him.

“Yes, this feels nice.” Surprisingly, Kyunghoon heard it. Heechul snapped his head up to face him. Kyunghoon stared back with a mysterious glint in his eyes, smiling lightly. “Are you sleepy?” he nonchalantly asked. “Uh, a little…” Heechul still couldn’t recognize what he just saw in Kyunghoon eyes. It was gone as fast as it appeared.

“Then we should get to bed. You go rest, hyung. I’ll turn the computer and the lamps off for you,” Kyunghoon loose his arms on Heechul. “Don’t forget to bush your teeth first,” he instructed him, like a mother would to her child. He stood on his feet and processing to do so. Heechul turned off the TV and went to brush his teeth. He felt very submissive to Kyunghoon now, following all his orders without any will to protest, just like a good boy he is. _‘Maybe because I’m too sleepy,’_ he thought. Kyunghoon is still turning off the lamps when he walked towards his bedroom.

“Kyunghoon-ah, go straight to the bed when you’re done, alright?”

This made Kyunghoon stop dead in his track, disbelief apparent in his face. “What-what for?” he stuttered. Heechul tilted his head, “Sleep, of course. Where else would you sleep? The sofa isn’t as comfortable as the bed, and I know your body always became so stiff whenever you sleep there. Besides, I don’t mind sleeping together with you.”

“Oh… Okay, then. I’ll go there after I finish,” Kyunghoon replied, somewhat flustered. Heechul hummed, went into the room and made himself comfortable on the bed. He left some space for Kyunghoon, facing the other side already. Not long after, Kyunghoon enters the room, turned off the lamp, and went straight to the bed. He draped the cover on top of both of them, adjusting himself to become more comfortable. “Good night, hyung,” he said softly.

“Yeah, good night, Kyunghoonie,” and with that, Heechul succumb to the drowsiness. His heart light because he believed, there would be nothing happened until morning. He will survive this night.

Yea right, of course that’s not gonna happen in this story.

Heechul woke up few hours later because the room temperature became very cold. _‘Where did I throw the remote this morning?’_ his hands probed around the bed, searching for the AC’s remote. He couldn’t see clearly because of the dark room and the still very heavy eyelids. He did, though, bumped into something hard. He couldn’t remember he had something that firm and warm in his bed as he touched it again. Was it his dog? But he remembered put Bok on his own pillow in the living room earlier.

“Heechul-ah? What are you doing?”

‘Huh?’ that gentle voice made Heechul awake, he blinked few times to get accustomed to the dark. What he saw was, well, that something was Kyunghoon’s chest all along, and with the way he probed it earlier, it couldn’t be counted as polite. He pulled his hands as if they’re in fire. “Kyunghoonie? I’m sorry I didn’t know it was you! I was searching for the remote. I swear I didn’t intended to-“ of course he freaked out.

“Hey, it’s fine, really. I don’t mind it, just surprised,” Kyunghoon took Heechul’s hands in his. The latter can notice his seemingly red ears. "You feel cold?”

“Eh, yes. It’s cold…” Heechul couldn’t believe his ears. Did Kyunghoon just said that he didn’t mind it if Heechul grope his hands over his chest?? Like, literally running his fingers on that firm chest??

Kyunghoon smiled a bit, gentle and soft smile which Heechul always felt it were completely showed for him alone. It made him feel like he was special. “Then, come here. I’ll help you,” he opened his arms suddenly, as if waiting for Heechul to come. Heechul just stared dumbfoundedly, mouth opened slightly. Laughing, Kyunghoon pulled him against his body, Heechul’s head resting on his forearm, facing each other.

The body warmth, the firm hands that enveloped him and the scent of Kyunghoon did wonders. Plus, with the way their legs mingled with each other, his body relaxed almost instantly. This is his chance, and he wasn't going to missed it. He put his arm around Kyunghoon waist and slip closer into him, nuzzling his face further to the latter’s neck, taking a deep breath. _'Just one chance, Heechul,'_ he reminded himself.

“Warm enough?” Kyunghoon whispered into his ear.

“Very. Thank you, Kyungie.” With that, Heechul went back to the dreamland.


	2. Impatient

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Heechul may have his own inner conflict, but how about Kyunghoon?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really didn't intended to continue this, but my friends keep nagging me with my theses and well, this is my only way to escape :)

Min Kyunghoon focused on the road. There were not many vehicles and people around, as it was little late already. He was currently on his way to his hyung apartment after received his invitation to spend the night. _’That and the new game. Don’t forget the main reason,’_ he reminded himself. Kyunghoon hummed along the song on the car’s player, couldn’t contain his smile. Maybe he even giggled too much whenever he received new messages from his beloved hyung. If his mother noticed something, she hasn’t mentioned anything yet

Kyunghoon couldn’t maintain the excitement in his chest. He saw Heechul every week to film Knowing Brothers and usually went hang out together, either it was just the two of them or with the other Knowing Brothers’ cast. They tell everything to each other and even the sleep over at his hyung apartment became increased slightly for the last few months. Not that any of them complaining yet. He was not quite sure the exact time when he realized his feelings towards Heechul. It just happened on one of those day when they engage in a game together, side by side and Heechul suddenly hugged him, gummy smile showed on his joyful face because he had just won the round. For a moment there, Kyunghoon thought he must be dreaming for seeing something so surreal. He could see the older man’s delicate facial structure more detailed, more brightly as if the light were reserved solely on his hyung. His heart beating so fast in his chest and his ears was painted red, he must excused himself to the bathroom to calm his heart down.

They exchanged messages almost every day now, and let’s not forgetting the ‘good morning’ and ‘good night’ messages, but still there was this desire to always keep in contact with him. It seems like, “I can’t get enough of him,” he confessed to himself. But he knows, and realized, that he couldn’t be more than close friend to his hyung. A good dongsaeng. He convinced himself Heechul wouldn’t be interested in him like Kyunghoon to him. Heechul had too many friends and maybe, he even had crush on someone out there. Despite telling that to himself, Kyunghoon decided he wouldn’t miss any chance to be close to Heechul and he will cherish him as long as he allowed to.

He stopped at a family restaurant and brought few dishes for them. He was sure by heart that Heechul hasn’t ate anything for the night. He even brought few bottles of soju, in case his hyung want to drink tonight. _‘So considerate, Kyunghoon-ah. A perfect boyfriend material,’_ he joked to himself. While waiting for the dish to get done, he sent a message to Heechul, letting him know that he almost there. The other man quickly replied, _‘Okay, be safe.’_

He knew Heechul had worked too hard this week; he had so many programs and nearly got any decent sleep. Kyunghoon were worried non-stop for him, but he held his ground because he thought, well, he was just his friend. He didn’t possess the rights to make Heechul obey his concerns. _‘If only I was more than just a friend…’_ In the midst of his musing, his order was ready and so he paid, then resuming his trip. Few minutes later, he found himself in front of Heechul’s door. He rang the bell, and soon he could hear Bok wailing and Heechul’s voice. He smiled, knowing he just need to wait few more seconds to see the person he loved and ready to pamper the said person tonight. What he didn’t expect was, Heechul in a towel.

His smile dropped, eyes widening. His eyes trailed from the other’s head to toe, examining the milky skin. Some water dropped from the end of his hair, down to his chin, and ended up tracing his chest. Kyunghoon’s body got heated so suddenly. “Hyung! Are you crazy?” he asked disbelievingly, walking inside. Gently, he pushed Heechul inside while make sure the door is locked. Heechul didn’t seem to know the problem was, and it was evident in his clueless face.

“Your, your appearance! What if someone sees you in this state and… and they take your photo, or worse, attack you?” he said in panic, eyeing the other upper body. Heechul followed his stare at himself and recognizing his current state he was in. His face reddened. He ran to the bedroom to wear some clothes, leaving Kyunghoon alone shaking his head. “I can’t bear it if somebody else see you like that, hyung…” Kyunghoon said in faint voice, watching Heechul dashed towards his bedroom.

Kyunghoon prepared the food he brought on the top of the table and wash the utensils they would use later. _‘He’s taking too long, isn’t he?’_ Kyunghoon walked to the door, knocking it. Heechul immediately open the door, greet him with a smile. “I thought something happened to you…” he averted his eyes from Heechul. Being so close with the other, plus that beautiful smile and the playful glint made him somewhat shy. Heechul didn’t utter anything when Kyunghoon drag him to the table. However, Kyunghoon noted the absentminded look on the other man’s face.

Kyunghoon place the palm of his hand on Heechul’s forehead, checking the other’s temperature. “Heechulie, are you sure you okay? You seem… Really off today. You’re not sick, are you?” he worriedly asked his hyung. Seems like Heechul were really exhausted, but willing to spend some time with Kyunghoon. It made him feel guilty.

“I can go back now to let you rest if you aren't really feeling well, you know. I don’t want to burden you,” Kyunghoon gently said. Although he undoubtedly wanted to stay with Heechul, the latter's health comes first. His happiness too, of course.

Surprisingly, Heechul opposed on what he just said. He uttered something that sounded like an explanation, but Kyunghoon was too busy to comprehend what he declared. The rosy color that slowly spreading from his cheeks down to his neck stole his attention. He brought back to his senses when he realized that Heechul had stopped talking. “I really enjoy your companion too, hyung. And of course, I’ll come whenever you want me to. I’ll come to you even if you just want someone with you without even doing anything,” he tucked Heechul’s wet hair, want to observe the flushed face more clearly. Heechul stuttered, lost of words. Kyunghoon then put Heechul on the chair and went to grab the hairdryer, only just just began to eat when he finished drying the other’s hair.

He even offered to wash the dished and rejected the other’s offer when he said he wanted to help, only to found Heechul pout cutely. Heechul went away to turn his computer on, a little too hasty he daresay. _‘Oh God, not that littte pout. It only just made me want to kiss him breathless,’_ he re-focused to the dish in his hands, wiping it clean and went to the gaming room. What he encountered, however, was Heechul crouching on his chair, his face in his palms. Panic rushed over his body. He even got himself ready if he must carry Heechul all the way to the hospital. Not that he will complaint about it, though.

“I think lying for a while would do, Hoonie. How about you try the game first and I’ll be on the sofa with a blanket on while watching some movie?” Kyunghoon feel something stabbed his inside. ‘ _Does he really don’t want me to be here? He really absentminded today, and he did behave really weird today,’_ he thought, feeling down, upper mouth slightly coming forward unconsciously. But he wasn’t going to back down, he intended to comfort Heechul today and he know Heechul were easy to relax around him. In the end, Heechul complied with his wish and they move to watch a movie. They watched in silence, but Kyunghoon frequently stole glance to Heechul, worried if he really gotten ill.

Kyunghoon turn his torso to his hyung, “Do you still feel cold?” he asked in a low voice. Heechul seem startled, and he didn’t answer directly. Smiling but concerned inside, Kyunghoon pulled Heechul towards his body and wrapping his arms around the smaller man, hoping this would warm the other man enough. Startled but didn’t voice any protest, Kyunghoon could feel the other relaxed inside his arms and they continue watch the movie in silent.

”This feels nice,” he heard Heechul murmured, so low that Kyunghoon was sure if he didn’t have his focus on him, he would fail to notice it. He could hear the drowsiness in Heechul’s voice. Trying to maintain his happy feelings in check, Kyunghoon replied the similar thing, and Heechul’s head twisted to him so fast he afraid it would hurt him. ‘It almost midnight anyway,’ he thought, thus he told Heechul to go sleep, not without ordering to wash his teeth first in the same way his mother constantly do. He readied himself to sleep on the sofa, and then began to turn the electrics off, but Heechul’s statement made he froze.

“The sofa isn’t as comfortable as the bed, and I know your body always became so stiff whenever you sleep there. Besides, I don’t mind sleeping together with you.” Heechul innocently said, tilting his head which made him more adorable.

“Oh… okay, hyung,” Kyunghoon agreed half-heartedly, half embarrassed. He couldn’t refuse his hyung, really. But on the other hand, he knew he would have a hard time sleeping out of the nervousness.

Kyunghoon entered the bedroom, Heechul already lie on the bed facing the other wall. He turned off the lamp and lie beside Heechul, covering their body with the blanket. However, even after saying good night to each other and hear Heechul’s soft snore, he still couldn’t fall asleep. He shifted his head to look more closely to Heechul’s back, observing his moving shoulder. It just like his ordinary nights where he could’t sleep because he missed Heechul so dearly, even they just had exchanging good night messages to each other few hours prior. The difference was, Heechul were beside him right now and he was extremely nervous to quiet his mind.

Typically speaking, Heechul would need few more hours to sleep because he was not the quick sleeper type. But tonight, he was gone as soon as Kyunghoon draped the blanket over them. Maybe he was still exhausted, or maybe, deep inside Kyunghoon’s heart he hoped, his presence brought some soothing effect on him. _‘Hyung, I really, really love you,’_ he sadly thought, _‘But I will never have the courage to tell you that, because I’m sure you will never accept my feeling. I’m already satisfied with us being close friend like this, and I don’t want to ruin this relationship.’_

He allowed himself to close his eyes, listening to Heechul’s breath and try to get some sleep. He was sure enough he was already dreamt about he and Heechul walking together, side by side, hand in hand when he felt something on his chest. Kyunghoon opened his eyes, tried to get accustomed to the darkness and found Heechul stroking his chest with his eyes still closed.

Embarrassed because of the hands that caressing his chest, Kyunghoon asked Heechul, “Heechul-ah? What are you doing?” He can feel his ear burning right now. Heechul stopped moving, blinking for a few times, trying to comprehend the situation. His hands still on top of Kyunghoon’s chest. “Kyunghoonie? I’m sorry I didn’t know it was you! I was searching for the remote. I swear I didn’t intended to-“ Heechul pried his hands back, panicked evident in his voice and face.

“Hey, it’s fine, really. I don’t mind it, just surprised,” Kyunghoon gently said, taking Heechul’s cold hand in his. The _‘In fact, you can do that to me whenever you want and I will not tell you to stop, ever,’_ left unsaid. An idea crossed his mind, and he hoped Heechul wouldn’t reject it. “Come here, hyung, I’ll make you warm,” feeling bold, he extended his arms, waiting for Heechul to lunged himself to him. He knew this chance wouldn’t come for the second time in his life. Heechul didn’t say anything for a moment with mouth agape, clearly taken aback. Kyunghoon bravely pull Heechul to him, laughing a little. _‘Aaah, he is really adorable,’_ he smiled to himself.

Kyunghoon keep telling himself that maybe this meant nothing to the other man, but for him, he will seize this opportunity to make Heechul be comfortable in his presence, in his arms as best as he could. Not in any way he was going to throw the odds away.

“Just this one time, Chullie,” he reassured Heechul. Kyunghoon set Heechul’s head on his forearm, his other hand securely enveloping Heechul, thumb caressing his back. There were zero spaces between their body, and he can smell the other man’s fruity scent that usually linger around his own hands every time they finished filming Knowing Brothers new episode.

He could sense Heechul’s tense figure slowly relaxing in his arms. Heechul mingled their legs together and encircled his arm on his waist, becoming more comfortable. Kyunghoon’s heart skipped a beat or two, and he couldn’t repress the smile that formed on his face. He hid his face in Heechul’s hair as the latter cutely nuzzling his face into his nape. “Warm enough?” he whispered in the other’s ear, couldn’t trust himself to speak in louder tone. Heechul nodded, “Very,” his lips brushed against his neck and Kyunghoon must held himself back to not kiss him hard.

Kyunghoon felt content and for the first time in months, he reassured himself he could sleep peacefully.

 _‘Yes,’_ he thought, _‘this is enough.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> They're so adorable but at the same time they're really shy in this work hhngg it made me cringed so much while wrote this.


	3. The Contingency

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Happy? Sad?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be in 3rd person PoV. This was hard, yeah, but I tried my best.

Several hours later, Kyunghoon woke up again, breathing heavily. His heart beating mildly in his chest. He had a terrible dream, but he couldn’t recall what it was. Something along with Heechul holding hands with someone else if he remembered correctly. He took few deep breaths to relax himself. Looking down, he couldn’t help but smile fondly at Heechul, sleeping peacefully. Kyunghoon brushed few on Heechul’s bangs gently, knowing Heechul was a light sleeper and pondering to himself, should he kiss his forehead or not.

‘ _Kyunghoon, you know you’ll never get into this situation again. Just one, just one kiss,’_ he encouraged himself.

And that was exactly what he did; he kissed Heechul on the forehead, lingering a few seconds to pour his love before drawing back. Heechul groaned a little, plunged his face more closely to Kyunghoon’s, got more comfortable in his sleep. Kyunghoon’s heart began running wild again in his chest, throbbing painfully. The distance of their face reduced to just few inches now. Kyunghoon stroked the other man’s lips with his thumb lovingly, feeling the softness. Couldn’t hold it anymore, he kissed Heechul’s forehead again, twice, then carefully caressed his cheek with so much affection. Heechul stirred, body slighty moving against Kyunghoon. At that moment, he revealed his eyes a little, trying to focus on Kyunghoon.

“Kyungie? Morning yet?” he sleepily asked.

“Not yet, Chullie. Get back to sleep,” he softly replied, whispering as for not startled the other. Heechul blinked his bleary eyes away, still looking at Kyunghoon. Then he smiled. He hugged the younger man more tightly that before, drowned his face in his neck further.

“You know, I just dream about you. About when we film the Problem Child episode, back then.”

“Oh? Tell me about that,” Kyunghoon played with Heechul’s hair as they talked.

“If it not because you’re there in that program, I might had rejected their invitation,” he continued, “I’m too shy to appear there. But because of you, I accept their call, believing you would support me going through the process. That’s why I often glance at you during the filming, because you boost up my confidence.” Kyunghoon didn’t see this coming. He, bolstering the other’s confidence?

“You are making fun of me now, aren’t you?” He looked down to the older man’s face. Heechul looked back in confusion. “All this time, you’re the one who gave me the courage to speak up my mind or act by my own. It’s clearly not the way around, hyung,” he claimed, stroking Heechul’s head. “Besides, you would do fine even without me, you always been all this time, aren’t you?”

“But, it’s true,” Heechul’s said, more like a question rather than a statement. “You radiate this soothing air around you, looking at me with a gentle gaze. That’s why I always like to hold your hand while looking to your eyes. It makes me feel I’m doing just fine,” Heechul explained, staring directly to Kyunghoon’s eyes.

“Yes, that gentle eyes. I love it so much,” he blurted. As soon as Heechul said it, their eyes widened simultaneously. The tip of Kyunghoon ear turned red, as well as Heechul’s cheek. “Uh, no, I mean-“

“Heechulie,” Kyunghoon cut him, concealing his face on Heechul’s hair again, breathing in his scent. “Thank you. I also love that honest side of you so much. You’re so precious to me more than you ever know,” he gently smiled but deep inside, he was praised himself. He didn’t know how he mustered the courage to tell Heechul that, but it felt good. It was like a little portion of whatever that suffocating his lungs were suddenly got lifted. On that moment, he decided he would do it again, speaking whatever in his mind and not concealing his feelings to Heechul anymore. As soon as he said those words, the crimson color that was dusting Heechul’s cheek became more clearly, his pupil dilated.

Before Heechul could retort back with anything, Kyunghoon shove Heechul’s face to his neck, “Sleep, Chul-ah. You don’t have any schedule later, right? I’ll take you somewhere. You’ll like it,” he caressed Heechul’s back again. Heechul keep trying to look at Kyunghoon’s face, but Kyunghoon keep concealing his face on Heechul’s hair. Giving up to the stronger man, Heechul relaxed. “Kyunghoon-ah, just forget about what I said,” he mumbled, “It was so embarrassing.”

“Mm? I can’t promise you that,” he said jokingly, though he really wouldn’t forget it.

Heechul looked up suddenly, startling Kyunghoon. “Yah, you-“ his brow furrowing, ready to scold him, “Stop teasing me,” and he pout. Kyunghoon swallowed, his throat becoming dry suddenly. “Stop that,” his voice shaking. “Don’t do that to me, hyung.”

“Huh? Doing what?”

“That thing with your lips,” Kyunghoon couldn’t say it aloud, “Be careful, I might do something to it if you keep doing that,” he warned.

Heechul looked down, feeling slightly embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were disturbed by this,” his voice becoming smaller as he talks. Sighed, Kyunghoon embraced the older man tightly but make sure to not crushed him. “Not that, I- Ah, forget it. We’ll talk more in the morning, okay? Sleep tight, Chullie.” Heechul nodded, and soon after they back to sleep again in each other arms.

Few hours passed and it was already morning. They woke up and prepared themselves. The place Kyunghoon planned to bring Heechul with was worth 2.5 hours long by a vehicle. Even though Heechul complained a lot at first - _‘Is it that far? I don’t want to go.’ ‘But I can guarantee you will love it, hyung. There is a famous restaurant over there. I’ll treat you.’ ‘Deal.’_ -, they passed the time by exchanging jokes and singing together. Heechul own his own account noticed that they went further away from the capital city, towards the mountain area. He started getting nervous, but he didn’t voice it out loud because he wants to believe Kyunghoon would never ask him to do something uncomfortable like, hiking on one of those mountains so suddenly.

They keep following the road down to a long tunnel, and green scenery greeted their eyes. Far behind those thick, luxuriant forest lay an ocean, covered by the mountainsides. As soon as Heechul took a glimpse of the sea, he stopped talking midway and place his face up on the window. Kyunghoon glanced at him and laughed, “Hyung, how about we open the window?” he turned the air-con off. Nodding eagerly, Heechul turn the window down, and the fresh breezes slapped his face, making him yelps. Kyunghoon hummed softly to any song that came across his mind and Heechul continue to look at the landscapes smiling to himself, loving the vibe between them.

They arrived at the restaurant and order their meal together. Heechul didn’t even protest to go back home anymore, he enjoyed the trip already. “So,” Heechul inquire, “What is this place you want to show me? I just realized I never asked you that,” he laughed, happy from being full. Kyunghoon was right, the food here were undoubtedly good.

Smiling, Kyunghoon fixated his eyes on his own plate, “A beach.”

“A beach?” Heechul parroted.

“Yes, I’m thinking to go there to film new episode of my blog. They had a camping site, you know. From what I read in the articles, the place is very beautiful. it’s not too far from here, so we can walk there if you want. I intended going there right before I’ll go home from your place later, just a quick survey, but we are really having nothing in our schedule today, right? So, well, here we are,” Kyunghoon explained in a confusing way that Heechul couldn’t fathom it fully.

“You bought me here because we both free today?” Heechul asked.

“That, also because I always want to take you to somewhere pretty. Pretty people deserve pretty things, right?” Kyunghoon smiled playfully. Hearing that, Heechul laughed loudly. “Indeed, you’re pretty, Kyunghoon-ah,” he said, smiling widely.

“Not me. You, hyung,” Kyunghoon looking straight at Heechul’s pretty eyes. Heechul stopped laughing. “For me, you’re the most attractive person I’ve ever met.” Heechul blushed, taken aback by his statement.

“Stop with your tease, Hoonie. You should say those words with the person you like, not- not me,” he stuttered, look at everywhere but Kyunghoon. Kyunghoon keep staring at Heechul for a few seconds, then suddenly he rose on his feet and suggests him to go to the beach, not before paying up the meal.

As Kyunghoon said before, the beach was within walking range. Heechul can smell the salt in the air already. Feeling excited, he nudged Kyunghoon, which merely laughing at his antics, to walk faster. As soon as they arrived, Heechul couldn’t help but stare in admiration. The beach was really beautiful, as Kyunghoon said. The sands are white, and he can saw the line where the sea changes its color clearly. The beach had camping spot on one side, between the trees that grew before the sands and the place were really surrounded by mountainsides; this was the part of the sea which he saw earlier.

“Hoonie, this is, this place really worth the trip. Seriously,” he said in awe.

“Really? I was really afraid you wouldn’t like this place,” Kyunghoon smiled lightly. He took off his shoes, grabbed Heechul’s hand and encourage him to take a closer look to the sea. “Come on, hyung. Take off your slippers and walk on the beach with me. It’ll be fun.” Heechul took his slippers off and let Kyunghoon lead the way. They explored the beach telling stories with each other, playing together with the sands, even running around on the shallow part of the sea. Heechul were laughing so much while Kyunghoon smiling lovely at the older man, proud of himself because he successfully made Heechul enjoyed their time together.

“Heechulie, wait for a moment here.” Kyunghoon said as soon as Heechul sat on one of the benches provided in the area, “I’m just going to take something in my car. It’ll not be long, promise!” and with that, he ran. Heechul smiled, averted his gaze back at the ocean. He can only feel happiness in his chest right now and it was all because of Kyunghoon. Maybe it was because of his happy bubble inside of his heart, or maybe it was because of Kyunghoon’s gentle gaze for him from they woke up until now, but deep inside his heart he realized he must confess his feeling sooner or later, before he explodes.

“I love you so, so much, Kyunghoonie.” He began forming what inside his heart into words, imagining the possible coming scene. “I observed you for a long time already, always trying my best to taking care of you, and I know I can’t hold it any longer,” he closed his eyes, feeling the gentle breeze. “I want you to be my lover,” he finished, smiling to himself. Those short yet truthful words made him full of confidence, _‘I’ll do it!’_

What he didn’t know was, Kyunghoon already back and listened to him from the middle until the end of his monologue. Yes, only from the middle, not from the beginning. His heart ache so much from the knowledge that his hyung already had someone in mind and he will confess to the person sooner, but he knew this wasn’t the time to weep. He approached Heechul slowly, trying to hold his tears.

“Hyung!” he called acted as if he was out of breath, “You didn’t wait too long, right? I brought snacks,” he sat down, placed the snacks between them. Heechul shakes his head no, smiled brightly at him and began to munch on the snacks. Kyunghoon too, began to eat with a heavy feeling. He didn’t ready for this information and almost couldn’t restrained his tears back as he listens to Heechul’s narrative. He couldn’t even look at the other’s eyes.

“… that’s why when I arrived at the waiting room, Youngchul-hyung and Soogeun-hyung laughing their ass off while pointing at me- Hoonie?” Heechul noticed the sudden different mood on Kyunghoon. “Hoonie, what’s wrong? Why are you sad? Your eyes are red and tears swarmed there,” he asked out of concern.

“Huh? Are they? It must be because I keep opening my eyes without blinking, hyung. It’s nothing,” he rubbed his eyes, trying to wipe his tears away before they fall.

“Oh, Kyungie…” Heechul didn’t know what happened to his friends. He did the only thing he knows; he hugged Kyunghoon.

That gesture only added fuel to Kyunghoon’s ache heart. He tried to pry off from the hug, but Heechul keep hugging him back. “Hyung, I’m fine, really. My eyes sting because of the wind. It’s nothing serious,” he reasoned. Heechul didn’t say anything nor he let go of his embrace. He stroked Kyunghoon’s head, frustrated because the younger cried and didn’t want to say the reason why. Somehow it saddens his heart knowing he couldn’t be any help to Kyunghoon, he felt vulnerable.

“Hyung, I’m okay already, see? The tears moist my eyes perfectly,” Kyunghoon revealed his tearless but still red eyes to Heechul. Heechul stared at him, trying to figure out what was bothering him, but after couldn’t find anything he just patted Kyunghoon’s head. He still felt annoyed though, he wants to be a supporting pillar for Kyunghoon.

“You know you can always tell me anything, anytime you want, right? I’ll always be here for you, will always beside you. I meant it, Kyungie. So, tell me what’s bothering you whenever you ready, promise?” he brought up his pinkie. Kyunghoon still couldn’t look into Heechul’s eyes, just smile a little and linked their pinkies together.

“Thank you, hyung. You’re the best.”

“Anything for you, Kyungie.” With that, they continue watching the vast ocean, enjoying the magnificent sunset together in silence with an odd air between them.

Heechul keep glancing at his friend, curious about the sudden change, but he wants to give Kyunghoon some space. He knew Kyunghoon would tell him later, he always did that all this time. But deep inside his heart, he felt something big would occur soon; something he would regret. He threw that feeling away because he wants to believe everything would be just fine. When the sun disappeared completely at the horizon, Kyunghoon suggested to go back. He even asked Heechul if he wants to eat something for dinner and joked a little. Heechul couldn’t help but pondered what was happened to him earlier.

The journey back to Seoul were filled with songs and jokes, just like that afternoon. Kyunghoon walked Heechul until his apartment's front door. He knew he must say goodbye with a light feeling but he couldn’t, he didn’t strong enough for that. However, he gave a soft smile before Heechul closed his front door completely, showing his deep affection for the last time because, _‘After this, we’re really just a friend, nothing more. He’ll be happy with that person,’_ he kept telling himself that.

Heechul said goodbye in a cheerful tone and said his thanks for bringing him to the beach, trying to brighten Kyunghoon’s mood. In the midst of closing his door, he saw Kyunghoon’s more closely. Kyunghoon had that gentle smile on but somehow, he looked sad. He looked like he was ready to cry anytime soon, and Heechul couldn’t help but think, _‘Is this a farewell? Why do I feel we’re going to part? Why do I feel I’m going to lose him?’_ Heechul looked back with the similar miserable feeling.

The door closed, the person inside placed his forehead on the door and the person outside placed his hands on the door. They both are suffering in their own misery. One didn’t know the exact reason while the other one already decided their future one handedly. Eyes closing, a single tear traced their cheek, followed by more tears; they cried their hearts out for their precious person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the bad ending.


	4. Special Chapter: Quality Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyunghoon simply wants to celebrate Valentine's Day with Heechul.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentine, folks!  
> This chapter has no relation with the flow of other chaps, but you can interpret this as you wish. Their relationship, however, still remain a close friend.
> 
> I published this chapter at the same time with my other work; 'Special Date'.  
> This is the soft ver. of the Val's Day.

  


“Hyung, do you have any plans tomorrow?” Kyunghoon asked as he rose on his feet to bidding farewell to today’s guests. The older brothers already circling around the guests, chatting for a little while and saying thank you to each other for the excellent work.

“I have 2 programs to record tomorrow, and it should be finished at afternoon, though. How about you?”

Kyunghoon brows wrinkled, trying to remember his own schedule, “Band practice, and it should be finished on afternoon too.”

“Well then, we can hang out after that. Where do-“

“Yah, Kim Heechul, Kim Heechul, Min Kyunghoon, Min Kyunghoon! What are you guys talking about over there? Say goodbye to our guests first!” Kang Hodong called, or rather, shouted for them across the classroom set. Sangmin and Janghoon laughed uncontrollably at Heechul and Kyunghoon’s startled face (from the roaring voice, preferably) while Youngchul keep talking to the guests who seem indifferent to the loud voice just now. Soogeun merely smiles wildly while gesturing them to come.

“Aiish, that really surprised me,” Heechul breathed, putting his hands on his chest and looked at Hodong with a wide eye. He could hear the staff laughing with the hyungs and could feel his face getting hotter from the embarrassment.

Kyunghoon were just as the same as him, covering his ears with his palms, shock apparent on his face. “Hodongie-hyung! We’re not recording anymore, and you nearly give us a heart attack, you-“ Kyunghoon hold his tongue from every cussed words he had in his mind. He gently grasped Heechul’s hand in his and tugged him to join the others, “Let’s go, hyung. We’ll discuss it later,” and Heechul just nodded, allowing his younger friend pulling him.

They joined the older hyung, chatting for a while, and walked to their own dressing room to change their outfit. The Production Team informed them to wait at the waiting room for a short briefing about next week recording. Heechul arrived last and the cast already joking with each other, some even already eat something. Heechul smiled at them, already loving the casts by now, and find himself a place beside Kyunghoon who sat sideways, chatting with Soogeun and Sangmin. He put himself right behind Kyunghoon and trying to listen to their conversation, still smiling.

“Heechul-ah, what are you grinning for?” Soogeun asked over Kyunghoon’s shoulder, peeking at Heechul and cutting Sangmin's statement whatever he was talking about.

Hearing that, Kyunghoon shifted his head quickly to see Heechul only to find his nose bumped to Heechul’s own. Maybe even their lips grazed so lightly, nobody knows. They gasped simultaneously, certainly can feel each other breath on their skin, and quickly lean on their back at the same time, clearly taken aback by the situation between them. The older hyungs whom saw what happened laughed hysterically at them, maybe except for Hodong because he was too immersed in his food. (He kept asking, “What? What happening? Why's Kyunghoon on the floor?”)

“Yah! Why did you jerk your head so suddenly?”

“You too, hyung! Why did you sit right behind me? Want to surprise me or something? what’s with you and Hodong-hyung trying to give me a heart attack today?” Kyunghoon covered his red ears as Sangmin aided him to get off from the floor, still laughing. He could head Soogeun’s, _‘Kyunghoon, your ears are bleeding again, should I call an ambulance for you?’_ and Janghoon’s, _‘Why do they keep doing skit by themselves today?’_.

“I just try to listening to your conve- Haah, forget it. What do you want to do tomorrow?” Heechul ask for Kyunghoon’s hand, supporting him to sit beside him again.

“Hmm, I haven’t thought of anything. Is there a place you want to go?” Kyunghoon slightly tightened his hold on Heechul’s hand, just noted how they instinctively and comfortably holding hands outside the recording too by now. He didn’t realize this before, but few days ago he was hung out with one of his best friend, Tei, and he was startled because Tei suddenly grabbed his hand. That, and also because they suddenly took off running. _‘I want to jog suddenly. Come on, run with me, Kyunghoon-ah.’_ Kyunghoon must pull his hand back because he feels terribly uncomfortable by it.

“What? You guys gonna have a date tomorrow?” Youngchul suddenly asked with so much interest in his tone.

Kyunghoon quickly let go of the smooth, moisturized hand that he began to love. “It’s not like that, hyung. We-“

Laughing, Sangmin patted his shoulder. “Don’t need to worry about us, Kyunghoon-ah, Heechul-ah. We all rooting for you guys if you want to know.”

Face reddened, Heechul can feel the others attention went to Kyunghoon and himself. “Hyung, really, it’s not like that. We just want to hang out and maybe play games together like usual, nothing more, really,” he muttered weakly.

“You know, when I was your age, I escorted my wife whenever she wants, even to the place we haven’t been. We tried every food we didn’t know exist and I always gave her flowers everytime I met her,” Hodong reminisced his exquisite dates with closed eyes, still holding to his cup of ramyeon.

“Isn’t tomorrow Valentine's Day? You guys shouldn’t spend the time like usual then! Kyunghoon, bring Heechul somewhere romantic. Or Heechul can set a movie date at his house for you,” Soogeun voiced his own thought.

“I don’t know how you guys usually spending your dates together, but if you need to rent a room, I can give you one with half-price. Don’t let other people know about this. I do this because you’re my son and my son-in-law, okay?” even Janghoon joined taunting them.

“Hyung, no, we didn’t- Stop it, I think I might die, my ears are very hot right now,” Kyunghoon covers his now red face, seeking help to Heechul. His ears indeed looked like they’re bleeding.

“Wait, Kyunghoon is going to die from the embarrassment. His ears are so red I thought it was a cherry,” Sangmin laughed his ass off again, and it only became louder as he looked at Heechul involuntary red skin, helping Kyunghoon put a cold bottle water on his ear as Kyunghoon hold one on the other. _‘Woah, they’re so adorable together indeed,’_ he giggles at his own thought.

The two maknaes’ misery come to an end when the PD teams coming in and started with the briefing. The cast said goodbye to each other and Kyunghoon promised Heechul he will contact him again tomorrow as they went to their own place.

  


**With Heechul**

Heechul currently waits for Donghae, Hyukjae, and Kyuhyun at a restaurant. He finished his morning recording and there was still enough time to spend with his members that unexpectedly also had business in the area. Kyuhyun arrived first, followed by Donghae and Hyukjae soon after. The food came soon after they ordered and they chatted with a nice atmosphere.

“Heechul-hyung, do you want to join me and Hyukjae-hyung later? We will be live on YouTube. Shindong-hyung will also come,” Kyuhyun nonchalantly asked. he could hear Donghae whining about wanting to joining them and make chocolate together but he couldn’t, and Kyuhyun being Kyuhyun, he was free to neglect that.

“I can’t,” was Heechul blunt answer.

“Oh, why? You have appointment somewhere?” Hyukjae asked with his mouth still full of food.

“Something like that. I promised I would hang out with Kyunghoonie today.”

And with that, the three younger men looked at each other.

“A date then?” Donghae asked carefully. Everyone knows Heechul couldn’t be mad at him ever, but he knew this is a sensitive topic for the older. Kyunghoon always is being a sensitive topic for Heechul. Heechul was and always will stand up for that man.

“No, not a date. What are you guys even talking about? It just like our ordinary meet up. Eat together, play games, like that.”

“But didn’t you date him already, hyung? I mean, well it was obvious,” Kyuhyun put his chopstick down, interested in the flow of this conversation.

“What's obvious? There is nothing between us,” Heechul looked back at the youngest man with eyes full of confusion.

“What we meant, hyung, is it was really obvious you were dating each other. You became gentler to us since you often spend time together with him. The hand holding, the flirt on the shows and the backstage too. I remembered you hugged him so tight for a few minutes on backstage last year,” Hyukjae stated the facts.

“Yeah, I recall that too. I was terribly afraid Kyunghoon-hyung would be suffocate from your hug. I couldn’t see your face because you hid it on his neck but I remember Kyunghoon-hyung’s expression. He was really, really happy,” Donghae frowned, trying to recollect the details.

“You even let him borrow your clothes, and you habitually wear his clothes too, right hyung? You repeatedly told me how cute or absurd he was whenever we drink together, that you want to tousle his hair or just lean on his shoulder forever. Maybe you don’t remember this because you were really drunk,” Kyuhyun wears a teasing smirk now at Heechul’s shocked face.

“Wow, hyung. If Cho Drunkard said it, then it was true. You love him, right?”

“Yeah. You can’t win Cho Drunkard in drinking. Just tell us the truth, hyung,” Donghae tugged at Heechul’s arm.

Heechul set his face on his palms and cussed silently. The others laughed, clearly heard the swears coming from their hyung.

“Stop it, brats,” Heechul snapped quietly. “Yeah, you’re right. I think I love him,” in the end, he admitted, “I’m not sure enough, but I know I want to be with him for a long time, more than just a friend, more than a brother.”

That statement made the three younger rascals focused their attention to him, and Heechul could feel embarrassment eating up his confidence slowly. “Then what are you waiting for? Tell him!” Kyuhyun urged him, flashing his perfect teeth in a wide smile. The ‘I Think I’ pre-chorus could be heard from the other two. Heechul stay quiet, swarming in his own thoughts and no one bringing up the subject again until they went with their own schedules.

  


**With Kyunghoon**

“Okay that’s it. That was splendid and now you kids can go home, spending the rest of this Valentine’s Day with your wife,” Yejun gulped down on his drink, getting ready to put his stuff inside his bag and just go home. He saw Kyunghoon glanced at him and he almost choked on his drink. “… and your partner, your friend, whoever you want to be with.”

“What is it, Kyunghoon-ah? You don’t have any plan for today?” Sunghee put his guitar on its case as he looked at Kyunghoon. Kyunghoon was being very quiet today, more than he usually would, and somehow it troubled him. The Buzz member, aside for Kyunghoon, constantly gives more attention to their maknae as they couldn’t helped him through his depressed state few years back. It made them sad, and they vowed they would always be there for the youngest.

“I have plans with someone. I just don’t know where to go,” Kyunghoon mumbled.

“Who is it? What are you planning to do for today?” Junki, who finished with his stuff, ruffling Kyunghoon’s head affectionally.

“It’s Heechul-hyung. We agreed to hang out together but as Yejun-hyung stated it, today is Valentine’s Day and I don’t know where to bring him.” With that, the 3/5 member of the band shooting a quick glare to their leader. The said man just held his hands up. He really didn’t know the youngest would feel troubled by it.

Woohyun stroked his shoulder, “Then you must bring him somewhere you two can relax, a somewhat casual place. Where did you usually have your date with him?”

Kyunghoon looked at Woohyun questioningly. “Date? No, not a date. And we never did it, though. We usually met at his place or a restaurant, eat and playing games together. Sometimes we watch a movie at his place too. He really loves staying at home during his free time.”

“You’re dating him, right? How can you do all of those things when it’s Valentine today?” Yejun joined their little circle after he had finished placing all of his stuff in his bag.

“Me? Of course not. What makes you say that?”

“Huh? It’s obvious, silly! I often saw your clothes all the time whenever I saw him on TV,” Woohyun exclaimed, hit Kyunghoon’s head lightly and earning simple ‘ouch’ from him. He absolutely couldn’t believe this kid.

“And those flirt on the show? How can you say you’re not dating him? We understand if you want to keep your relationship with him a secret, but I thought we’re extremely close and you already believe in us,” Sunghee shed his nonexistent tear.

“You two calling each other with pet names! Don’t you dare say you two aren’t a thing!” Junki pointed his index finger accusingly on Kyunghoon’s nose, nudging it lightly.

“I’m not lying! We’re not dating!” Eyes widen, Kyunghoon crossed his fingers. He was as puzzled as the rest of his members.

“Wait. We should start from the fundamental fact. Kyunghoon-ah, do you or do you not love him?” Yejun interrogated him in a stern voice, startling Kyunghoon.

“Huh? Yes, of course I love him,” the youngest replied panickily, then quickly cover his mouth when he registered what he just blurted out.

“So, you’re saying you did all that, all this time, and you two still not dating? Forget asking him to date you, just ask his hand to marry you already,” Woohyun let out an audible sigh, pitying his camping friend deeply. He knew Kyunghoon could be clueless sometimes, but not to this extend.

Struggle from his own laugh, Junki get up from rolling on the floor. “Kyunghoon-ah, just confess, would ‘ya? I’m sure he would be delighted.”

“Uh, I know. I will confess when I’m ready. But the problem right now is I still couldn’t decide where to go for today,” Kyunghoon coughed a little, fanning his red ears with his hands.

“How about going to the cinema, watching a movie? They’re many new movies coming out this week,” Yejun tried to help, thinking hard for his maknae.

“We can always watch it in his place, hyung. He never liked the idea of watch movie together like that. Moreover, I also hate that idea,” Kyunghoon sighed. He knew Heechul detested many things and fortunately, he also hates all of them.

“Oh,” Sunghee flicked his fingers, capturing everyone’s attention. ”If you want to do something memorable, then…”

  


**Around 2.30 P.M.**

Heechul looked at the lively street from his seat. He only just finished his second recording for today and currently heading back at his place. Kyunghoon texted him earlier, and he suggested spending the time at his place again. Heechul agreed immediately, he didn’t hope for anything but at the same time he felt vaguely disappointed.

‘Seems today will be like another day, then,’ he sighed to himself.

His manager drove him to his apartment, and Heechul freshen up while waiting for Kyunghoon to come. It was evening already when Kyunghoon arrived. His doorbell rang and when he opened the door, Kyunghoon smiled shyly at him.

“Kyunghoon-ah, what’s with those bags?” Heechul’s eyes trailed at two heavy bags on Kyunghoon’s hands. He peeked inside the bags and could see many fresh vegetables and other basic foodstuff.

“This will be our dinner today, hyung. I’m sorry for not informing you right away, I was really nervous you will get mad at me and cancel our little date,” Kyunghoon breathe in, panicking a little from his choose of words. “I promise I will clean up the place after I used it.”

Heechul was genuinely surprised, he never thought Kyunghoon would cook for him. “It’s okay, Hoonie, as long you let me help you with these. I would never get mad at you, really,” he clutched Kyunghoon’s hands, squeezed them gently.

Feeling extremely happy, Kyunghoon caged Heechul in his arms. “Thank you! Of course, you can help me cook. I would love that. Should we start then?” he began taking out the groceries and preparing the ingredient. Heechul often asked him question regarding the cooking material, and the two sharing their knowledge they learnt from their show, respectively.

“Hoonie, we’re really completing each other,” Heechul laughed as he washes the dishes they used. “You know everything about the cook stuff, and I like to clean up these dishes like I usually do in my program.”

“The dishwasher man, right? I watched the clip,” Kyunghoon smiled, cleaning up the table and place the foods there. They eat together, providing the other with their own activity earlier, and wash the used plates and utensils with much joke. There was this happy bubble between them, and they laughed together at the other’s silliness. After they tire themselves off, they collapsed on the couch, fingers tangled loosely on the other.

“Heechullie, I really glad you didn’t kick me out for dirtying your kitchen,” Kyunghoon laughed, remembering the mess the made.

“Of course, I would not, silly. I’m grateful you troubled yourself to cook for me,” he hit Kyunghoon’s shoulder lightly, making the younger winced in fake pain.

“Oh, that,” Kyunghoon’s squeezed the older’s hand tightly, careful not to crush the fragile hand, “I was thinking really hard how to spend this day with you. Today is Valentine’s and I want to celebrate it with you,” he smiled at the memory of his suffering this afternoon. His members were right, Heechul definitely loved the plan of them cooking together.

“Oh, that was very sweet of you,” Heechul cooed, “Thank you, this has been the best Valentine so far,” and he kissed Kyunghoon’s cheek.

“Anything for you, hyung,” Kyunghoon smiled widely, dimples showing itself for Heechul. He thought of confessing, but immediately scratched that idea, noting the pleasant air between them. One look at Heechul’s gummy smile and happy spark in his eyes, and Kyunghoon could feel his mouth shifted into a smile unconsciously, his chest full of happiness.

_’The confession can wait,’_ he kissed Heechul’s cheek back, eliciting a giggle from the lovely man. _‘His happiness comes first.’_

  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry, Sangmin and Kyuhyun :')
> 
> The shows are:  
> \- What Shall We Eat Today? (Kyunghoon)  
> \- Delicious Rendezvous (Heechul)


	5. The Inevitable

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyunghoon finally find his resolve.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter will be focused on Kyunghoon's feelings, with a tiny bit of Heechul's misery at the end.

Kyunghoon arrived at home right when his parents had dinner, and he bluntly refused to join them monotony, saying he already ate on his way back home. He believed his mother called him, but his mind didn’t really recognize it. Her voice went by his ears like a static sound from TV you often heard in the midnight. He walked directly to his room, took a shower then just sat there on the bed, staring into space. His heart still aching but there were no tears coming out from his eyes anymore, he cried non-stop while he was on his way back.

 _‘I lose him before I could even confess.’_ He recited these words in his mind as he recalled what happened at the beach.

He heard knock at the door and his mother’s head peeked in. “Hoonie, we want to ask you something. Come to the living room, okay, hon?”

“Oh, okay mom. Just give me few minutes to arrange my things, would you?” Kyunghoon want to look like nothing wrong with him by stuffing the things he would need on tomorrow’s camping to his carrier bag.

“Sure, just take your time,” and with that she closed the door again.

Kyunghoon let out a long breath and looked up at the ceiling, and he was certain his mom noticed something weird when he comes in and decided to talk about it with his father. “This is gonna be long conversation, huh?” he picked his phone from his other bag and there was a message on his KakaoTalk from Heechul. He decided to not open it because he didn’t want to come out to his parents with red eyes, his now still swollen eyes were enough already. He turned his phone screen off, put it on top of the withstand and went to the living room.

“Mom, Dad, you want to see me?” he stopped in front of them. His mother already sat on the couch, sitting comfortably inside a blanket. She still looked beautiful for him, despite his age. He knew his mother wanted him to get married to a good Christian girl but, well, Kyunghoon know he couldn’t fulfill her wish. Not as soon as possible to be exact, maybe he would forget his love for Heechul and fall for a good Christian girl later, he couldn’t be sure about this right now. The thought of disappointing his mother caused him feel extremely guilty. His father sat beside his wife, leaving some space between them for Kyunghoon to sit, probably. The aging took a toll on his face, but Kyunghoon still could identify the charming feature he had on his younger days from his expression. His father maybe not as affectionate to him as his mother, but he had his own way to express his parental love, and Kyunghoon love them equally, nonetheless.

“Sit here, son,” his father patted the space between him and his wife.

Kyunghoon sit between them without much thought, and his mother covered them with the blanket. The warmth from the blanket and his parents emitted made him emotional already, he could feel his eyes watering again and his vision blurred. His mother hugs him with one arm and caressed his head with another. His father squeezed his left hand and tracing it, portraying something with his thumbs. Almost immediately, his body began trembling and tears fall to his cheeks.

His parents didn’t say a word, even when he sobs loudly. They give him time, but never stopped the tracing his hand nor caressing his head. Eventually, Kyunghoon’s sob died down and he started staring into space again. His father passed him some tissue, and his mother gives him a cup of warm lemonade tea with honey she prepared beforehand. Kyunghoon wipe his face clean and drink the tea, emptied it.

“Mom, Dad, I’m sorry for crying on you like this. I’m sorry for troubling you both,” Kyunghoon spoke in a small, weary voice. His throat still sore from crying so much but he didn’t care.

“Oh, honey, don’t say that. You can cry on us anytime you want,” his mother snatched the cup away from his hands before it fallen to the floor, seeing Kyunghoon’s hand became loosen on the cup as the time pass.

“We wouldn’t force you to explain anything to us, son. We merely want you to remember we will always be here for you, and you can come to us whenever you need us,” his father said, keep tracing Kyunghoon’s hand with his sturdy thumb.

Hearing them, Kyunghoon feel more guilty and tears fallen down on his cheeks again. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry to disappoint you both, Mom, Dad, I’m so sorry,” he hiccupped again and hide his eyes with his free hand. His parents didn’t mention anything, and Kyunghoon decided he will explain anything. He loves his parents so much and even though his parents said they didn’t demand any explanation. He will come clean to them.

“I’ll explain everything, but please hear me out until I finished. You can scold me or lock me out after that. I wouldn’t mind,” Kyunghoon said, erasing his tears with his right hand. Kyunghoon allow everything in his heart out to his parents; from his concern about the band, to his long worry in his performances on variety show and solo activity, and eventually about his love and recent heartbreak.

His parents listened to him without any word. His father keep holding his hand tight and his mother keep patted his head, maybe stopped for a while when his voice cracked but nothing more. They are still doing that for few more minutes even after their son stopped talking and Kyunghoon shut his eyes tight, already prepared to receive any worst possible words from them.

“Hoonie, why do you close your eyes? Open it. We wouldn’t doing anything to you,” his mother cupped his cheek, caressing it with her thumb.

“We didn’t upset because you fall in love in that kid. But we extremely disappointed because you thought we would get furious at you just because you informed us about that,” his father stern voice made Kyunghoon feel ashamed.

“Your father’s right, honey. We still cherish you, see? We appreciate you explain everything to us but the mere thought of you believe we will mad at you just because you love Heechul, it undoubtedly made me sad,” his mother said smiling a mournful smile.

Kyunghoon felt horrible. He was just unbelieved in his parents’ love, but he also unconsciously made them sad. “Oh, I’m terribly sorry. I was being egoistic and didn’t consider your feelings. I’m extremely sorry, Mom, Dad. I thought you both would get angry with me because I love a guy and not a girl like mom constantly wanted me to,” he looked down at the blanket, couldn’t met their eyes.

His father sturdy hand caressed his head, making Kyunghoon glance at him. “Hey, you just being brave telling us this. We will still love you, even you already date him, and we wouldn’t destroy your happiness with our selfishness,” his father smiled at him, and it lighten his already heavy heart.

“I’m sorry if I always demand you to marry someone with my criteria, Hoonie. But if you find happiness in being with Heechul, then we will happy for you too,” his mother smiled lovingly at him, and for a second he thought he was staring at the mirror. _‘Ah, I got my smile from mom,’_ he nonchalantly thought, blinked few times and started pondering how his mother’s smile always keeps his father at ease.

“It’s okay. I’m sorry too. What's more, Heechul already have someone in mind, and I know I must let him go,” he mumbled.

“Why?” his father asked.

“Huh, what do you mean?” Kyunghoon asked back.

“Why must you let him go? You haven’t done anything to captivate his heart yet and now you letting him go merely because you heard his monologue? I didn’t remember I raised you like this,” his said with a coy smile. “You only live once, and if you throw this chance away just because your irrational thoughts, who knows maybe you’ll lose him forever,” his dad ruffles his head.

“Life is full of possibility, but your very first experience would never be compared to anything, son. Think that you just got one chance for everything, and you will regret nothing.”

Kyunghoon recognizes his father trying to encourage him up, but his words caused him thinking, hard. Kyunghoon was a passive type of men in the terms of expressing his deepest emotions, but as far as he perceived it, he hadn’t expressed his feelings to Heechul either. All this time he was merely taking care of his hyung, as his brain admitted it.

“I think you should say something to him first, Hoonie. Because from your story, I’m confident you already took a big part inside his heart. You were being such a sweetheart to him and always taking care of him. If I were young again and you did all that to me, I’m already fall head over heels for you by now,” his mother winked at him jokingly. His father tensed already and slowly rotated his head to his wife with horror written on his face.

“Oh, dear, I’m just trying to lighten the mood here. Don’t look at me like that,” his mother patted his husband’s cheek lovingly, laughing at the expression, “Besides, you were just as sweet as Honnie back then, that’s why I agree to marry you, remember?”

His father mumbled something that sounds like, “I thought I lose to my own son,” or something, Kyunghoon couldn’t apprehend it clearly as his mother laugh louder. Seeing his parents banter like this, Kyunghoon smiled a little. It would be extremely delightful if he and Heechul could be like this too. For a long time, preferably.

“Mom, Dad,” he called out, “I’m going to confess to him. I’ll win his heart and not going to stop as long as I’m allowed,” he said that with a confident smile.

“Now, that’s the determination I’m talking about,” his father laughed beside him.

“Bring him here sometime when he could, would you? We would like to know him too, the man whom my son fallen in love with,” his mother laughing too, joining her husband.

“Uh, don’t tease me, please,” Kyunghoon’s could feel his ears becoming hotter as his parents’ laughter became louder. “Thanks a lot, Mom, Dad, you both are the best. I love you guys so much,” he hugged them one by one, bid his goodnight to them and went to his room, not before reminding them he will go camping tomorrow morning. He could hear his father’s "Go get him, son!" on his doorstep.

He lay on his bed, staring at the ceiling with a light heart, sometimes smiling bit whenever he recalled his conversation with his parents. He loved his parents, and he was genuinely glad they accepted him wholeheartedly. Kyunghoon placed his palm on top of his chest, feeling his own rapid heartbeat. Excited, Kyunghoon couldn’t suppress his soundless giggle and took a deep breath, maintaining a slight smile.

 _‘Be ready, hyung,’_ closed his eyes, he put his forearm on top of them. _‘I’m going to steal you away.’_

But, unbeknown to him…

Heechul sat on the floor, his back on the side of his red sofa while staring into his black TV screen without so much emotion. Variety bottles of alcohol gathered around his tights, as well as the one he was holding. His eyes were still red from crying too much and the tears on his cheeks were dried already, but he still felt he wanted to cry again. His mind wandered everywhere and he couldn’t help but only think of the worst.

 _‘Why would he bear that expression? Will he leave me alone?’_ he gulped down his soju, _‘I’m always alone, though. What are you hoping for, Kim Heechul? You have no one.’_ His tears threatened to fall once more. He feels so small and lonely. He opted to call Kyunghoon, but could only bear with sending him a message. The fact that the younger didn’t even open their chatroom only made him thought more negatively. He still couldn’t shake off the younger’s face earlier. It made him restless.

 _‘Kyunghoon-ah, it’s scary…’_ he leaned on his back, head looking straight at the ceiling and he allow his tears straining his beautiful face again. _‘Please tell me…’_ He could recognize Bok running around and Heebum’s voice somewhere, but he didn’t paid any attention to them.

 _‘Please tell me you’ll not abandon me. Not after we’ve been this close.’_ He wiped his tears with his arm. _‘Otherwise, I might go crazy.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry for this short chapter


	6. The Misunderstanding

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyunghoon avoiding Heechul. And no, it wasn't intentional.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How are you guys?
> 
> I hope you guys had been healthy. Be a good citizen and stay at home whenever possible to avoid spreading the virus.  
> I'm sorry it took me longer to publish this chapter. I finished this last month but I've been stuck with work here and had the audacity to forget that I left a story unfinished. Yeah, that's suck, sorry. Really.
> 
> May you enjoy this chapter ;)

Kim Heechul woke up groggily, blinked his bleary eyes away and tried to sit up but only to find a massive headache and his stiff back. He yelped and immediately lay down again while started massaging his head. Heechul couldn’t recall how he ended up sleeping on the sofa, but he was sure he cried himself to sleep. His other hand roaming on the sofa in attempt to search of his phone and lugged it to his face. He took a brief glance at the time and realized it was already past midday, already noticing his numerous missed calls from his manager. He kept massaging his temple for a few minutes and eventually sat up, went to the fridge to take his hangover remedy drink. He only had less than an hour to get ready before his manager literally broke his front door to pull him to work, if he remembered his schedule correctly.

 _‘Fuck, I feel like crap,’_ he cussed in his mind. He already regretted for drinking so much alcohol, but as far as his mind comprehend it, he didn’t really have any other option to let out the uneasy feelings inside his heart. After he had taken his shower, he proceeded to feed his pets and cleaned up his mess. Satisfied, Heechul texted his manager to inform him that he could pick the idol up at any time now and sat down comfortably on his sofa.

His eyes glanced at his phone that stay securely at his palm, eyeing it for a moment. Gradually, Heechul turned the screen on and tap on the messaging app. Sadness marring his face again as he opened their chatroom and noticing Kyunghoon hadn’t even read his last sends messages. _‘He really is leaving me. He wouldn’t care for me again. He would probably hate me--’_ he took a sharp inhale and forced himself to slump back at the sofa.

“Shit,” he mumbled incoherently, narrowing his eyes. He knows alcohol wouldn’t help in relieving his current problem. Heechul regretted for drinking so much now. His head hurts, albeit a little, and he could feel his heartache spreading slowly deep inside his chest. ’Just take a deep breath, Heechul. You can’t let your personal problem affecting your performance and let your fans down,’ he reprimanded himself lightly as he took a deep breath then let it out slowly, repeating the process for a while and forgetting his surroundings. He almost went back to sleep if not for Bok to licking his hand, wailing his tail slightly. Glazing fondly at the dog, he let a wan smile adorned his face.

“Bok-ah, thank you for staying with me. Thank you for always cheering me up,” he lifted the dog and placed it on his lap. Bok continued to wail his tail and licking at Heechul face instead, merrily playing with his owner. Heechul laughed a little and his mind wandered again.

 _‘Hey, I still have them. My pets, my friends. I’m just overthinking. This is not a big deal, Kim Heechul. You’ve been fighting hard until now and can survive from this one too.’_ Heechul put Bok on the floor and proceed to snatch his things the moment he heard the doorbell rang, ready to fight the day.

“You’re Universe Big Star Kim Heechul. You can overcome anything,” he encouraged himself again as he walked out from his home. He greeted his manager, and they immediately rushed to their schedule for today. Heechul tried being his usual self, at least when he was around another people. He was confident he could do it. He always succeeded.

While forcing the thoughts about Kyunghoon to the back of his mind, he readied himself to being busy for the whole day and decided he will talk to Kyunghoon on Knowing Brothers’ set two days later. He worked hard, and he will do so too for each upcoming day.

Kyunghoon sulked. Not like he was going admitting it, though. Even the fantastic scenery in front of him couldn’t brighten his mood. He went sleep right after his self-declaration about stealing Heechul heart and forgot to charge his phone causing the battery run out. And off course his alarm went off too. He woke up this morning only to found Woohyun irritated face and Sunghun laughing at them from the doorframe.

Woohyun sigh audibly when he glanced at his band’s maknae. “Come on, Kyunghoon-ah. You can’t get mad at me forever.”

“Shut up, hyung. It still hurts,” Kyunghoon bite back, snarling at Woohyun. The said man put his arms up, giving up to the stubborn maknae he ever knew in his entire life and went towards the toilet.

“Hey, I think you’re partially at fault here. We called you so many times before, but you didn’t even bulge. So, we didn’t have any other option,” Sunghun rest his arm on Kyunghoon’s shoulder, undoubtedly trying to hold his laughter again.

“But it didn’t mean Woohyun-hyung have to knock me out of the bed, either! Could you, oh I don’t know, shake me first instead of just go straight to kicking me?” Note the sarcasm.

“It was the quickest!” they could hear Woohyun’s voice coming closer.

Kyunghoon sighed. His phone was already charged, but he couldn’t even load Heechul’s messages from last night because there was no Base Transceiver Station Tower in the middle of the ocean. He wanted to answer Heechul, badly, and received those enthusiastic replies from him. He even missed their night and morning ritual, their greetings. Kyunghoon could feel his mood became fouler as he glanced at his phone’s loading screen with such resentment.

 _'I missed him...'_ Kyunghoon pouted a little, unconsciously.

"Don't pout like that, Kyunghoon-ah. You'll get everyone screaming your name because of that look," Woohyun commented without even battling his eyes to him.

"Aren't they already chanting his name by now?" Sunghun followed Woohyun, teasing Kyunghoon.

"Oh shut it, shut the mouth."

"Hey, I wanna ask something. Don't look at me like that! I haven't even been voicing my questions, silly boy! It is about you and Heechul. Did you have a fight with him?" Woohyun opened his canned drink, glancing at Kyunghoon's confused face.

"No, what makes you think so?"

"You often opened your messaging app since we departed this morning. I took a glance earlier, and you always opened your chatroom with him. No, stop judging me with your eyes, you little-" Sunghun coughed, reminding Woohyun of his language. "Anyway, you didn't reply his messages and your gloomy face really persuaded me to think both of you are had an argument right now."

"Hyung we don't really had signal in the middle of the ocean," Kyunghoon said flatly. "And we are good. I want to reply his messages, but I just got my phone back on when we were already on board."

"Well, it goes without saying," Sunghun mumbled quietly but Kyunghoon's sharp ears could still overhear it clearly. "We can't really receive any of it on the mountain later."

Suddenly, Sunghun laughed out loud. "Aaah, that's why you're pouting since you woke up, huh. You missed your boyfriend dearly. You'll be gone for the whole two days in the middle of vast oceans and high mountains, and you can't get in touch with him."

“Kyunghoon-ah, we’ll be back tomorrow. So, throw away your sour face and behave. Promise me, and I’ll give you this kimbap for your breakfa- eh, brunch,” Woohyun said seriously while offering a wrapped kimbap, swaying it in front of Kyunghoon’s face. The two younger males recognized the tone immediately, Woohyun always used that tone whenever he wants his daughter to cooperate with him. The disgusting bribing tone, as they exclaimed it.

“Oh, shut up,” Kyunghoon rolled his eyes but he flashed a lopsided grin and snatched the food anyway. His two companions could show their ‘eat-shiting grin’ -as he called it- for all he minded, but his empty stomach’s demand was more violent than their teases.

He typed something on their, he and Heechul’s, chatroom and press the send button, hoping it would miraculously be delivered to the other party. He shut his phone off and proceeds to glob his brunch, finally settling himself to enjoy the calm breeze with a hint of salt in them and the vast, blue ocean.

Two days passed and there was still no incoming message from Kyunghoon even after Heechul arrived at his dressing room in the JTBC Building.

Heechul politely greet whoever greet him, or screamed his name in the case with his fans outside the building, and silently went to his dressing room. His Kims worked on his appearance immediately while Heechul stuffs his face with food, head went rigid as his face getting touch. For the whole two days before, Kyunghoon never answered his previous sent messages nor opened them. He tried ignoring the worried thoughts.

Not like he even cried to sleep too, no, just like last night. Not at all.

Every time he felt his phone vibrates or the notification light blinked innocently, his heart flips a bit and he checked his phone quickly, only to discovered no new message from a certain someone and it made him became more disheartened.

The door opened and Kim Youngchul emerged while singing a trot song, making sure to emphasizing the end part. It was absurd and it makes Heechul cracked so laugh.

“How’s your week, Heechul-ah? Did you rest well?” Youngchul walked towards Heechul, a broad grin presented on his face.

“I’m good, hyung? How about you?” Heechul finished the last bit of his food after the Kims done with his face.

“Of course, me too! I went out to lunch yesterday with---” Youngchul proceed to narrating his past week like usual, while Heechul keep his casual attention to his senior, giving hums of affirmatives or some nods to let Youngchul know he was listening while his mind wandered somewhere else. He could feel his heartbeat going faster in his ear as he kept glancing at the clock on the wall past Youngchul’s shoulder.

“--- and that makes me feel so silly, you know? I can’t even go back there- Heechul-ah? Your eyes are swollen, did you cry?” Youngchul examines his face closely. Hearing that, Heechul gulped down on nothing and gave Youngchul a slight smile.

“It may because I played until late last night, hyung. This is not the first time I come here with swollen eyes, right? I’m sorry for the unprofessional act. I swear I try to not doing it again,” he gave Youngchul a small bow.

 _‘Damn, I thought it was already hidden completely with the make-up,’_ he swore to himself to shroud it more with any concealer he could find.

Youngchul just laughed it off, “Oh, it’s fine, Heechul-ah. I know everyone deserve their own time to relieve the exhausting days. It’s okay, really. Just make sure it didn’t affect your health and complexion too bad.”

“Yes, thank you, hyung.” Heechul smiled a bit and relaxed again in his chair. His mind suddenly wandered off again to a certain someone. A person which he couldn’t even forget even if he wanted to.

“Hey, hyung. How come we didn’t start filming already? I thought I came last and need to run to the set today,” Heechul tried to extract more information, laughing a little to hide his anxiousness.

Grabbing a water bottle, Youngchul sat beside Heechul and composed a thoughtful face. “I think Kyunghoon-ah hasn’t came yet. I heard from a staff that they couldn’t even contact his phone. Nor his manager.”

Heechul widened his eyes, slightly. He focused his gaze on the floor and could feel his uneasiness from the past two days came to him in a rush. Where is Kyunghoon? Did something happened to him?

“Did you contact him?” Heechul couldn’t hide this worry this time. It was evident in his voice.

“Of course. I didn’t get any response either. But I thought, if there is someone here who knows everything about his whereabout, shouldn’t it be you?”

“What?” Heechul replied harshly before he even knew it. “Sorry, I-“

“It’s fine. I know you’re concerned about him like the rest of us do,” Youngchul simply brushed it off. “Maybe it would be better for you to go to his dressing room? In case he already arrived and you want to-”

“Of course.” Without waiting any longer, Heechul took off running, barely heard Youngchul grumbling on something about youth these days. He reached Kyunghoon’s dressing room and turn the door open, slightly relieved because it wasn’t locked. What he discovered inside the room was, no other than his favorite junior which flung his head fast to look at the opened door.

In the middle of pulling off his shirt while facing the huge table mirror, bewielded look on his face, mouth slightly agape.

“You…” Heechul couldn’t regain his voice. He couldn’t think of anything. The younger, snapped from his reverie faster than the other, gripped him inside and closed the door in a swift motion.

“Hyung, as happy I am to seeing you after so many days, I don’t think it would be proper to me to show my body around to whoever person passing this room,” Kyunghoon, the brat, of course had the nerve to joke around with those small pout on his lips.

Heechul stared at Kyunghoon for another moment, looked like he was searching for something on the other’s face. When he finally found it, whatever it is, his entire being were washed with relieve, anger, confusion, happiness, and other micro-expressions Kyunghoon couldn’t comprehend.

Before Kyunghoon got the chance to speak, Heechul had pulled him to his arms, tightly embracing him. Kyunghoon stoned for a moment there, startled by the physical closeness. But he melted anyway, gave in to the warmth and wrapped his hands around Heechul back, stroking it as he felt the older’s trembling slightly.

Heechul hid his face on the younger’s crook, exhaling sharply from inside his heart. He wants to ask many things; _‘Where have you been? Why did you didn’t even replied to my messages? What made you arrived so late? Are you getting thinner? Are you worked out lately? Are you eating fine? Did you miss m-‘_

He stopped his mind when he realized Kyunghoon had altered one of his arms to place its palm on his cheek, stroking it fondly.

“What happened, hyung? Why are you crying?” his voice full with worry, eyes never leaving Heechul’s. His thumb brushing the tears that running down on his senior’s cheek.

Heechul didn’t even realize he was crying until Kyunghoon mentioned it. He released his hug, but his arms stayed on each of Kyunghoon’s biceps. It felt good. He, in Kyunghoon’s care, Kyunghoon within his grasp. His eyes never leaving the younger either at all while Kyunghoon kept on wiping his tears.

“Heechul-ah?” Kyunghoon cradle his face in both of his arms now, gently wiping the tears that leaking continuously from Heechul’s eyes.

“I-“ Heechul hiccuped, pausing a bit to regaining his steady voice in hope to relieve the younger’s worries. “I don’t know.”

Kyunghoon raised one of his eyebrows. “You don’t?”

Heechul shakes his head, cast his gaze down. He still is sniffling there and then, but he looked more composed now. He looked like a kid who lost his way home; confused, hurt, afraid. His gaze unfocused. Kyunghoon’s heart clenched at that.

“Oh, Heechullie,” Kyunghoon pulled Heechul back in his arms, “It’s okay. You’re gonna be okay. I’m here,” he whispered gently, afraid Heechul would break if he voiced an octave higher. Heechul merely nodded in his embrace, parroting Kyunghoon in small voice. “Yes, you’re here. I’m gonna be okay.”

The words that being spoken with such broken voice stirred something deep inside Kyunghoon. He tightened his arms around Heechul for the last time before released the older man. He kissed the crown of Heechul’s head, swiped him off his feet by uplifting him behind his knees and back, and placed him on the chair in the room. At least the action made Heechul produced some cute reaction with a red face and yelped a bit, making Kyunghoon giggled.

“Stay here,” Kyunghoon pats Heechul’s head gently then proceed to change his clothes nearby. He could practically feel Heechul’s gaze on his back, and the tip of his ears suddenly feels hot. He knows Heechul must have many questions for him but now wasn’t the right time.

 _‘But again, when is the right time?’_ he mused quietly.

He finished with the uniform and went back to Heechul whom still maintaining his previous expression. He looked so lost that makes Kyunghoon want to embrace him tightly and stroke his head, pampering him with many things until Heechul was consent and happy again.

“Heechul-ah, come on, we need to go.” Kyunghoon took Heechul’s hand and prompt him to stand on his feet again.

“Will you go with me?” Heechul blurted out before he even think about those words.

Blinking, Kyunghoon repress a laugh. “Of course, hyung. But I need getting my make up done first. Then I’ll go to wherever you are,” he grasped both of Heechul’s hand in his larger one. “And then we’ll talk.”

Heechul, barely noticing the short distance between them by now, could only nods.

Never leaving the other’s gentle gaze, Heechul could see Kyunghoon other hand went up to the top of his head by the corner of his eyes.

“That’s right, we’ll talk. But for now, would you do your best for this show? For the hyungs,” Kyunghoon took a step forward and whispers, “… for me?”

Shuddering at the close proximity and the soft tone, Heechul closed his eyes and nods again. He opened his eyes and immediately absorbed in the younger’s sweet dimpled smile, unconsciously broke to a small smile himself.

”Kyunghoon-ah, could I, would you mind,” Heechul blurted out before he gathers his courage. He is not prepared. But seeing the younger still gentle expression and a light squeeze on his hands, he just let it out. “Could I hug you?”

And that’s it. Kyunghoon eyes widened out of shock, and his smiled froze on his face. Heechul could feel his body flooded with panic.

“I mean, I just want to make sure. That you’re here. And you’re okay. Just one hug, please. I think it could ease my mind and-“

Kyunghoon took his hands back to suppress his giggles before opened it widely.

”Of course, hyung. You don’t even need to ask.”

Without wasting time any more, Heechul lunged himself to Kyunghoon. His heart already beating so fast inside his ribcage just like before, but this time it was because of excitement. He wrapped his arms on Kyunghoon’s back and released the breath he didn’t even remind holding. He could feel the weight inside his heart lifted as Kyunghoon hold him just as tight as he is.

“Thank you. _Thank you_.”

“Anything you need, Chullie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How is it? Confusing? Shallow? NG?  
> Feedbacks are much appreciated!


End file.
